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Housesitting is odd. I know a guy who is a professional housesitter. Like he has no home, just a string of housesitting gigs. He has references. It’s his job. He also doesn’t own a car. We live in Los Angeles. He might be a genius.

Anyway, I’m staying at a place with a 65 inch HD television. It is literally bigger than my apartment. When you have access to a piece of machinery like that, you take it for a spin. So in HD, I watched my first football game of the year tonight, cover to cover. Good game. Perfect Patriots.

I don’t know about these tv’s though. I mean, in a way they’re fascinating … Seeing all that detail in Junior Seau’s sweat. Sweat pours out of that man’s helmet with the force of urine. I’ve never seen anything like it. Marvelous. So in that respect it’s cool, I suppose … but it feels like a freakshow to me. An oddity. You’re still just sitting on your ass watching tv. It’s not anything more compelling than regular tv, it’s just big ole freakish tv with a big ole perspiring Junior Seau spraying sweat down the front of it. It’s like raising a permanent big top in the American living room. Night after HD night. Your own private circus.

Barnum and Bailey never saw that one coming.

Send in the clowns.

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