first we had joe the plumber. never mind joe wasn’t a licensed plumber who owed back taxes (no wonder he’s worried about them being raised) and never mind mccain asked him on the stump after that info was revealed.
next, palin starts talking about ed the milkman. in what part of the ‘real-america’ the governor visits are there still milk men? does she mean the guy who drives the truck from the corporate farm to the walmart, or the owner of the multinational conglomerate who owns the cows that make the milk that the truck driver transports to walmart? she acts like there’s still some guy driving around dropping off fresh milk every morning. you can still get that kind of service in san francisco (similar anyway), but i don’t think that’s where the governor was campaigning …
today i read about, and i’m not shitting you here, tito the builder.
tito the fucking builder. i can’t help but feel like gov. palin is reading a little golden book to supporters at her rallies. “look! who is this? joe! good! and what does joe do for a living? he cleans up our shit! good! joe’s a plumber. can you say ‘plumber’ boys and girls? good!
now who’s this? tito the puerto rican! good! and what does tito do for a living? he steals our health benefits because he’s probably illegal! good! tito’s technically a ‘builder,’ but we prefer recepient of amnesty. can you say ‘let’s build the wall’ boys and girls? good!”
i’ve come up with some other caricatures of middle america to help the governor out. they’re out there, ms. palin. you’ve just got to find them and tell their stories:
1. jerome the blacksmith
2. dong the computer guy
3. nader the comic
4. louis the bearded dragon breeder
5. robby the cum guzzling whore
6. gary the retard
7. mark the bagger
8. maria consuelo ortiz the nanny
9. beck the leaf blower
10. rick the pentecostal preacher
11. tim the gardener
12. wendy the proctologist
13. natalie the vice president of sales, midwest region
14. saul the shepherd
15. ronnie the limo driver
16. george the president
17. kevin the college student
18. christian the dog trainer
19. mel the poet
20. tony the dildo store night manager
Tags: 7 Comments
7 responses so far ↓
do you know cyrus the socialist?
know him? he’s sitting here with me now. just planning how we’re gonna tear down the superstructure one of these days …
i thought cindy was the cum guzzling whore. have you seen their family picture? where did she find the time for all that philanthropy?
and btw–ed is the guy who injects the cows with rBGH.
palin said, “ed is a real american. he’s a hard-working man who lives by god’s will, unless presented with the opportunity to speed things along a bit. a pregnant seventeen year old isn’t that shocking if she got her first period when she was six. is this the lord’s way? you betcha!”
i saw a spread on the cover of us or people or something of the whole family. i’m not shitting you, they had the adopted bangladeshi girl way down in the corner against a dark background, completely out of the circle with the rest of the mccains. you had to look hard for her. it was weird. if they could have fit here on the inside liner notes, they would have. ste-range.
i’m partial to nader the comic. but that’s just because i know the guy. anyway, you forgot “jim – outside sales”
jim – outside sales is a fascist dickhead. completely unamerican. plus, i think he’s queer. that just won’t fly. no story there.