kevincasper.net

i’ll no longer be a californian. it’s always been a weird sort of pride for me to be this midwestern kid from a shittly little town who could say he lived in california. not that i did anything spectacular out here or anything. no record label parties or trips to the mansion or production credits. but still, it meant something in some way. as i sit here with sweat dripping down my back (and people are warning me about the louisiana heat) i can’t help think that i’m going to, some day soon, have a complete panic attack about all this.

but it hasn’t happened yet. i’m looking out over the theatricum parking lot and there are the memories, right there before me like they just happened: hearing topanga days going on at the community center across the street, eating mike’s oat loaf, the night nesta got hit by the car, the artist sheds jess and i rented up the hill. they’re here. everywhere i go i see memories. but i’m not sad or sentimental. yet anyway.

i’m ready to get the hell out of here, actually. i’ll mostly miss the music, i think. porch picking with darby, the bull, sean’s drum sessions, tim o, los duggans, doug and lisa, eagle and talon, etc etc etc. hopefully these people will tour someday.

i’m gonna try to keep writing throughout this transition. i’m gonna try to improve this site. i want to be honest and try to get connected with why i feel (or don’t feel) a certain way about all of this. it seems like a big deal, yet i don’t feel the bigness. yet. maybe i will? i hope?

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