kevincasper.net

finishing a mega fucking yowza paper on lenny bruce. delirious. just found this online. one of his bits. i’m giggle stupid right now:

I’ve figured out a way you’ll score every time:
“Look I’d like very much to go out with you but there can be no sex between us. You see I don’t do it. I’m celebate. But we will go out and have a good time, I just thought I’d tell you up front because the last dates I was on they got mad and said I had ruined it for them.”
And sure enough on the ride there:
“Why don’t you do it with anybody?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Oh, come on, you can tell *ME*.”
“OK, it’s the way I’m built, you see I’m abnormally large.”
“Really.”
“Yes its a disgrace.”
“You mean you never do it?”
“Not since 19–”
“Gee what happened?”
“She’s in the hospital.”
“Don’t you ever go visit?”
“No her brother would kill me. I can’t even wear shorts in public.”
“Can I see it?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“It’s locked up.”
“Locked up?”
“Yeah locked up. My dad has one key the mayor has the other.”

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