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sitting in the dallas fort worth airport yesterday drinking an iced coffee and waiting for the plane. i saw a young girl sitting across from me, probably 13 or 14, kinda cute, a little chubby, at that stage where she has rhinestones all over her cell phone and flip flops. she was wearing a t shirt that said ’sister of the bride.’ it was a grey shirt with hot pink letters written in a cursive font like the ones they used to use on baseball jerseys from the old negro leagues. of course with that font color, the team would likely have been all gay in addition to all black. at any rate, she’s sitting there with a woman who appears to be her grandmother. after a few minutes, i get a clear shot of her shirt: ‘grandmother of the bride.’ same font, but in orange. oh boy … a few minutes later here comes mom. you guessed it, but this time in red. as i’m studying this family, i begin to think that somewhere at the end of their journey is not only this relative bride, but also her groom. i put myself in his situation. what would i do if i was days away from marriage and my wife-to-be’s family showed up wearing those shirts? i’ll tell you what i would do. i’d head for zee fucking hills that’s what i would do. get the fuck out of there, man. red means run, son. colors add up to nothing.

the trip was actually pretty pleasant. for only the second time in my life i drew the plane ticket next to the hot chick. the first time was in new zealand, flying from auckland to fiji. i can’t remember her name, but she was british, had just broken up with her boyfriend, and was going to the same remote island i was going to. sorted. yesterday, jenna was going to san luis as well, so we had the flight, the layover, and the second flight to hang out. she designs airplanes for the military that can transform themselves into helicopters in mid air. so as an engineer, then, she was pretty socially awkward. but very sincere and sweet. while laying over in lax, we sat looking through a cooking magazine. about half way through it, she found an article about a friend of hers who invented a cupcake with a french toast cake and white frosting sprinkled with bacon. she said, ‘hey, i know that girl!’ i said, ’shit, i want to marry that girl, she put bacon on a cupcake.’ we laughed and wondered how strange it was to randomly see someone you know in a cooking magazine. a few pages later, i see a picture of a guy sitting in an oscar meyer weiner mobile. i take a long look at him and go, ‘hey! i know that guy!’ turns out he passed through baton rouge a few months ago and ended up at a bar downtown where there was an lsu poetry reading. he quickly became the most popular guy in the room because, you know, he drove the fucking weiner mobile.

strange coincidences …

and then there was california.

Tags:   california4 Comments