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got a great story.

first the backstory.

this is riley martin:

check out his website for the full scope of his life’s work, but suffice it to say, i consider him one of the greatest storyteller’s alive today, a world class radio broadcaster, and an all around groovy motherfucker.

the reader’s digest version is he was abducted by aliens at a young age, taken aboard their craft, and introduced to many different races of alien species before being released to come back to earth to spread the word of their existence and to share their wisdom with humans in order to save the world. life has taken him “from a sharecropper kid to a mothership near saturn.” talk about a life’s work …

so riley used to appear on art bell’s am radio show coast to coast, and since howard stern moved to sirius satellite radio, riley has had a show on stern’s channel once a week.

his show is incredible. he and his co-host eron take calls and riley pontificates on his experiences with alien races like the screed, the biaviians, the targzissians, and the nyptonians. some people who call in are busting his balls, some people are sincerely curious, some people are just winding him up, but he always stays on point and always keeps things moving.

so a few years ago i wrote this song called ‘membrane universe.’ here it is:

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trippy space tune inspired partly by this quantum physics book my friend todd got me about schrodinger’s cat and partly by god knows what else …

anyway, i got the idea to add a little riley martin to the mix, so i recorded one of his shows and chopped up the clips and made it all fit. riley was the magic track that really made the song. in the end it is pretty much a duet, and riley is telling the story.

the thing i realized, though, in chopping up riley’s words and taking them out of context and playing with them outside of time and space, was that riley is really a spiritual teacher of sorts for the modern times. i don’t say that jokingly. i mean he’s really getting at some of the big questions about life and existence and love and peace and happiness, and his overall message is one of kindness and compassion. i’m saying all this as a guy who, to put it kindly, is ‘skeptical’ of spiritual teachers in all forms. but there’s a sincerity to riley, and something about how he tells his story that comes across as really beautiful to me. funny, warm, lighthearted.

it’s bigger than the aliens.

anyway, (finally) the real story:

so chicago mel and i are hanging out the other night goofing around. for some reason, we ended up putting membrane universe on the stereo, and i got the idea to send riley a copy of the tune. the next morning, i dropped a cd in the mail to ‘biavian enterprises’ along with a note to riley that said i was a big fan, explained the song a little bit, and thanked him for all the great radio.

and then i forgot all about it.

so i’m laying on the couch yesterday and the phone rings in the other room. i don’t answer. the phone rings again and i don’t answer. i lay there a few more minutes, get up and check the phone. new jersey number. new voice mail:

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needless to say, that was a trip. i called riley back and talked to him for about fifteen minutes. cool fucking dude.

told me he never touched a woman he didn’t love … at least when he was touching them.

told me he’s going to have to talk to stern personally about his pathetic salary.

told me he’d send me a copy of his cd.

told me he could become a preacher and get rich anytime, but he made a promise to some little men long ago to spread the word this way, and he’s gonna honor it.

told me i could use the old man’s voice anytime i wanted, cause i used it right.

told me he’s gonna gimme a plug on his show coming up. might get some new traffic to the ole blog.

so those of you with sirius (all eight of you), tune in to howard 101 on tuesday night at midnight EST and see what riley’s got to say about it all.

you never know what you’re gonna get.

this is worth ten minutes of your life:

Tags:   Howard Stern · membrane universe · Riley Martin4 Comments