some form of evil cancer is metastasizing throughout my electronic world. i’m a red cunt hair away from living in the fucking stone age.
a quick list:
1. a few weeks ago my sirius radio in my car shit out. it wouldn’t turn all the way on. it would try to turn on and then turn off. try to turn on then turn off. try to … $70 and a $15 ‘service transfer fee’ later, i’m back up and running. now i can again listen to will the farter blast away in his mom’s face at 7 a.m. yes, this content is that important to me. did i mention i live alone with a 22 pound dachshund?
2. my laptop has started doing some weird thing where it crashes hard when it goes to sleep. i did a little searching around on the google for an answer. got something to do with ‘safe sleep’ and a faulty memory dump. i might have to involve todd henry. course i’d have to listen to him ridicule me for buying an overpriced computer in a plastic white case. anyway, this one seems like it’s not that bad (i just don’t put the computer to sleep anymore) but it kinda makes me nervous. probably not as much as it should …
3. my cell phone is fucked. i dropped it about 84, 85 times in the last year and it’s always been fine. barely a scratch. somewhere around the 86th time it bounced off the concrete it sort of split in half. now it turns off randomly, flickers, shocks me …
4. my car stereo is starting to randomly turn itself off as well. driving along and it just cuts out. so i’ve fixed the sirius radio only to have the in-dash unit take its cues from my phone. st. andrews, what did you do to make me deserve this?
hanging on by a thread here, people. if you don’t hear from me for awhile, it could obviously be any number of things. snail mail, please, or foot messengers until i kick this thing.
that is all.
Tags: free12 Comments
12 responses so far ↓
it is, in fact, a cancer, though not an electronic one.
it is obama.
i just received an email regarding his funding of abortions for all and opening of the flood gates to terrorists.
(don’t tell todd the part about his guns.)
apparently it is the recently shed souls of babies, acting on instructions from fundamentalist extremists, that have corrupted your equipment.
surely henry can’t blame the hardworking elitists at mac for that.
sounds like it’s time for your first attempt at yoodoo in the bayou,
it is strangely coincidental that this all started when big o arrived at the job site. since i’m not a gun hobbyist, i didn’t think he was coming after my freedoms. course i never thought that by keeping his blackberry he would then take away my shitty little nokia, my beat the booey box, my snooty little macbook. i shoulda voted for nader.
omigod are you crying again?
i would call you and tell you where to shove it, chicago, but my phone won’t stay on.
YOU! MEL? DANCING!
i am quite envious this eve.
it took me some eight months to get you to even listen to los camps, and somehow you have managed to see them live before me. and in the big easy no less.
you better be dancing you ass off right now.
and to top it off, somewhere between an erupting earth and an exploding sky, our power finally came back on.
after 14 hours.
it was 47 degrees in my kitchen.
needless to say, i wish we had driven to see the show with you.
you can thank me every time we talk for the rest of our lives.
i’ll start by thanking you now. thank you. i sent dave shoot several picture texts last night. i’m gonna post them here. you’re in for a good time in st. louis, baby.
here’s a shot of topanga for you:
mercury is in retrograde and when that happens, electronics go to shit. you don’t believe me? google it.
lt, in addition to being my editor, therapist, and massage therapist when my ship filled with cash comes in, i think you should certainly add spiritual adviser to the items on your plate. unless it puts you into a higher tax bracket … then we might have to sway out one of your other tasks.
sir, i would expect that my services would be provided on “suggested donation.” therefore, no tax brackets– donate away (when you get the boatload of cash). but massage therapist? you’re gonna have to clear that one with john.
(p.s. i got in to santa barbara…one down…)
i know … message therapist isn’t even funny. you can’t win ‘em all, lt. congrats on santa barbara! you’ll get in everywhere … you’re that kind of gal. lsu is turning out to be quite comfortable and nice. i’m glad i ended up here. what’s the closest place you applied to south louisiana?
um…michigan?
cool … that’s just up the mississippi. i’ll be up there in 22 hours. sorted.