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i mowed last night. first time in about fifteen years. when you grow up in illinois, mowing is a large part of your childhood. mowing your own yard was a chore, and i never wanted to do it. plus, my parents were divorced, so i had two yards to mow. we always had shitty mowers, too. the first mower i worked with didn’t even have self-propelling wheels. i was probably 85 pounds soaking wet back then, trying to push an 80 pound mower around our big assed lumpy yard. i also had to mow my grandmother’s yard, but that was alright. she gave me five bucks and we ate a totino’s frozen pizza and drank pepsis and watched wheel of fortune when i was done. my first step-dad bought a riding mower at some point, and that changed everything. now mowing was no longer a chore, because you got to do something that approximated driving. i was mowing every other day. we had the best looking yard in the neighborhood.

for my california friends, i should probably stop for a moment to define what mowing is. mowing is when you use a lawn mower, like this one …

to cut your own grass. you fire it up and walk behind it like so …

and it magically cuts your grass. not as magically as leaving a $50 check for the gardener, but it’s still pretty magical. this mower was actually the same mower i last mowed with back in the early 90s. still got it. me and the mower.

here’s steve casper demonstrating the finer points of ‘edging.’

after you mow, you usually need to rinse off in the shower cause mowing makes you itchy. then you grab a cold beer out of the fridge.

to mowing …

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