kevincasper.net

i’ve settled down for the night in pecos, texas. if you look ‘shithole’ up in wikipedia you will see a photo of pecos, texas. here are a few of mine:

it’s hard to see, but the cowboy in the second horse shot is on his cell.

there’s a rodeo going on that I can see from the balcony of the motel 6. it looks interesting, if not a bit frightening for an obvious outsider like myself. i picked up a pizza from pizza hut on my way to the hotel. growing up in mt. zion, illinois, pizza hut was the only restaurant in town that really meant a night out. after baseball games we’d go there and eat and play vs. excitebike and super mario bros. and cue up def leppard songs on the jukebox. pizza hut remains a particular kind of comfort food for me. i need it now. i’ll stay in, watch baseball tonight, put a dent in this pizza, and knock off early. i’m still exhausted, but an adrenaline-type of determination has overtaken me. i want to get me and lefty out of the car and relaxing at my dad’s place in dallas.

this journey isn’t as much an adventure as it is a test of wills. the southern drive along the 10 is really just a journey through hell. i was thinking today that the particular stretch of road between l.a. and phoenix is my own personal suicide stretch. i’ve made that drive many times, and usually under some type of extreme duress. something about that desert desolation bisected by i-10 has had a vortex-like quality for me during the last chapter of my life. can’t get away from it. i moved to phoenix when i was 18, stayed for a year and a half, went to europe for six months, came back to phoenix, moved to s.f., moved back to phoenix, then moved to l.a. back and forth and back again. i always thought there was some kind of answer for me in the desert surrounding phoenix. if there was, i never found it. It felt good to drive through phoenix and keep going. other meccas of despair like el paso await … thankfully, i can pass right on through those places, too.

The room I’m in doesn’t seem to be internet accessible, but I’m too lazy to deal with it. I’ll post this later on.

Tags: No Comments